Contributors

paajivspunter

This is the group’s collective mast head under which opinions on the latest developments in the field and group editorials are published.

waterboyforever

Profile: waterboyforever set his life’s cricketing targets based on his desire to play the game very badly and it is only fair to say that he achieved his heart’s desire to a large extent in his stillborn career. A dashing left hand batsman gifted with one of the most graceful play and a miss outside the off stump, he would unleash his complete range of strokes between midwicket and deep midwicket on a good day. With the ball he was decisive, usually for the other team. His fielding is a throwback to the genteel times of cricket’s roots, Victorian amateur cricket.

Literary influences: waterboyforever is enamoured with the usage of big big words, pretentious references in long long sentences and excessive punctuation – with this, he hopes to become a celebrated armchair critic one day. He also draws influence from the cunning linguists at The Sun and Times of India city supplements.

Last 5 matches:

Bat– 0 (8), DNB, DNB, DNB, DNB, DNB

Ball– 0/29 (0.4), DNB, DNB, DNB, DNB

varunmoron

Profile: varunmoron wanted to bowl at heart racing speeds but ended up being a heartbreaking spinner who relies on help in the air rather than on bounce and turn. He could have been a successful construction laborer but for an accident that resulted in his brain getting replaced by a brick. 

Literary influences: Own bowling figures, Restaurant menus and Praveen Kumar’s list of crimes and abuses

Last 5 matches:

Bat–What is that?

Ball– Absent Hurt, Retired Absent, Present Retired, Depressed Retired, 1/8000

Vijay Shekhawat

Profile: Vijay Shekhawat is the greatest batsman this world has never seen. A dashing right hand batsman (whose look was copied by Harman Baweja after extensive plastic surgery), who is capable of hitting each ball to the boundary. He famously ignored Suresh Raina’s offer to get off the strike after getting hit on his helmet on his debut (“single le ke mujhko de, Brett Lee ko main thokta hun”) and took matters into his own hands smashing the very next delivery millimeters from Brett Lee’s ear for a six. He went to Lee and told him that he was indeed right and the ball can crack skulls, thus showcasing his confidence and bravado. He went on to score a century in that match in 57 deliveries.

A biopic was made on him after this first match which led to everyone considering him as a piece of their imagination and forgetting about his existence completely. Post this, he has taken to constant drug and alcohol usage which led him to make his acquaintance with other members of PaajivsPunter.

Literary Influences: Reading is for sissies–like the Australians.

Last 5 matches:

Bat — 153 (12), 255 (31), 12 (0), 100* (16), 501 (121)

Bowl — Bowling is for sissies

Favorite Film: Love Story 2050, What’s Your Rashee?

sanssignificance

Profile: sanssignificance hails from the most knowledgeable crowd in the country–nay, the whole universe–from the city of Chennai which boasted of giants such as Cheeka and L Siva. Unfortunately, his opinions are somewhat like the drain canal that skirts the Chepauk stadium–started with the noblest intentions, but is quite toxic and a nuisance to one and all in the present day. Like any self-respecting curmudgeon, he doesn’t quite understand the concept of selfies, uses the phonebook than facebook to keep in touch, and has acute intolerance to purposely misspelled words in text messages.

His biggest cricketing claim to fame is that he knows Dinesh Karthik (note: this is not the same as Dinesh Karthik knowing him). As you can see, his spelling reflects the era in which he calls him his acquaintance (numerology is a strict no-no due to his acute intolerance).

Literary Influences: Any article mellifluously rendered from The Hindu newspaper that he can dissect, nitpick, and claim moral victory.

Last 5 matches:

Bat — 3* (2), 57 (68), 32 (37), 78 (121), 22 (36)

Bowl — 2/85, 1/42, 0/34, 0/67, DNB

Favourite film: Whistle podu for M. S. Dhoni: The Untold story.

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